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I can't decide whether to stay in the US or go back to China. How should I make a life decision while having conflicts with my parents?

My visa is going to expire in Mid-July. In February I told my parents that I would like to go back in May, but they got so mad. We had severe family conflicts... They tried to manipulate me since I was born. Till now I am 23 and still struggle with it.

So they used their connection and found me a low-paying job that was totally not related to my goal, but if I stay here for another 3 more years, I could get a green card (their biggest wish), and then I could do things I want to do. At first, I felt they were making up reasons and comforted me to stay. Doing something not related to my career goal is torture (and it makes me several severe panic attacks) for me even for 3 years! But now I somehow really feel it could be an option, and that is completely opposite to my desire (escaping from my parents' control). So I hate myself for pleasing them again.

If I go back, I would not get much freedom since I would be in the same city as them. And I could not earn much as I do here.

So now, strengths for staying in US:

  1. Green card. My other life goal is to live in different countries. With a green card, it would be easier to go to Europe and have more opportunities in the future.
  2. LGBTQ friendly in big cities.
  3. I lived in NYC for 5 years and I love it here.
  4. Running away from parents.

Weakness for staying US:

  1. Loneliness and unstable relationships with people. Most of them will not stay here forever.
  2. Career ceilings for Asians.
  3. My parents may want to live here after I get the green card that means I still can't escape from them.

Strengths for going back:

  1. 90% of my friends are back in China.
  2. I will do something I love and follow my career goal.
  3. I don't need to worry about visa problems anymore. I come from there and I am comfortable with the environment.

Weakness for going back:

  1. Be in the same city as my parents. Not much freedom since I want to run away from them.
  2. I will not earn as much as I stay in US.
  3. Housing is insanely expensive.

​

I can't really decide. Am I being too greedy that I want everything to be perfect? Is it time for me to learn about sacrifice? Should I follow their desire or should I make a decision for myself?

submitted by /u/AlicesBrain
[link] [comments]

source https://www.reddit.com/r/immigration/comments/n08n92/i_cant_decide_whether_to_stay_in_the_us_or_go/
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